Christmas Wish
by flawlesspeasant
Summary: After a bad breakup, Alex and Jo have no one to spend the holidays with, so both volunteer to work at the hospital on Christmas. When a patient comes in and forces them to work together, they put aside their differences and realize that they don't have to spend Christmas alone.


_Based off a prompt I recieved on tumblr. Inspired by and titled after Christmas Wish by 98 Degrees._

* * *

Callie leaned against the counter of the nurses' station and blankly used her thumbs to scroll through the electronic chart that was nestled in the palms of her hands. As she waited for it to load, she drummed her fingers along the countertop and blew a thick strand of her black hair out of her face when she sighed. She glanced up from the screen and gazed at Jo for a few uninterrupted moments, who was sitting behind the counter she was rested against.

Jo sat at the computer and stared at the monitor with a concentrated look on her face as her fingers quickly and skillfully flew across the keyboard. Callie took the free moments of Jo's unpaid attention to study her. She seemed focused, concentrated and eager, yet somewhere behind the calculated mask, she couldn't help but notice traces of dissatisfaction in her eyes. With that, a triumphant smirk worked its way across her face. Ever since yesterday, when Jo offered to cover her shift last minute, Callie knew that she had to have a little reluctance, and the consistent eager smile that she wore all day was beginning to drive her crazy. Finally though, as she looked at Jo's face and watched her type, she saw her facade beginning to crack and give way to a much less pleasant reality. She was right. She knew she was. Nobody volunteered to stay at the hospital on Christmas and was happy about it.

"You sure you can hold down the fort here all alone?"

Startled out of concentration, Jo jumped back slightly before anchoring the wheels of her swivel chair by gripping the edge of the desk she was sitting at. She obediently looked up at Callie, enthusiastically nodded her head and forced the corners of her lips up into a smile, feigning both confidence and excitement. She adjusted the sleeves of her white coat and cleared her throat free of anything that might have hindered her speech and caused her to sound anything less than a hundred percent sure.

"I'm positive, Dr. Torres," she nodded a little more. "I'm gonna monitor your pre and post-ops, your nightly rounds are covered…is there anything else you'd like me to look after for you?"

"No, that should be all you've gotta do." Callie stuck the electronic chart back on the charging dock and rested her chin in the palm of her hand so she could continue to look at Jo and do so comfortably. "…If you get in over your head here Wilson, you know you can call me."

"It's Christmas," Jo mumbled. She spent the majority of the day pretending that she wasn't absolutely annoyed with the way Callie was constantly assuming she had something wrong, but it was coming to a head. Why couldn't she just leave her alone and be thankful that she took her shift? "What could possibly happen on Christmas?" she added, annoyance apparent.

"Oh, you'd be surprised." Callie stood upright and pretended to check her phone to diffuse the awkwardness in the air. "…Seriously Jo, if you need help–"

"I'll be fine," Jo insisted, growing increasingly irritated with the conversation. "It's Christmas and it's been slow for hours…nothing's coming through those doors tonight and if something does, it won't be something I can't handle. Go ahead home. I'll be fine," she rolled her eyes. "Not like I have family to spend it with anyway."

Callie raised her eyebrows, silently asking if she was sure. Jo nodded once again and with that, Callie shrugged and left her alone. She still didn't understand why Jo would offer to stay in the hospital for Christmas when it was clear that she didn't want to, but she decided that she shouldn't press the issue. She was grateful just as much as she was curious as to why Jo would volunteer to switch shifts and elect to work on Christmas when she was initially given the day off. If Jo hasn't agreed to switch her shifts, she'd be stuck at the hospital and unable to see Sofia for Christmas. Jo was a lifesaver, but still…she wondered why she was so eager to take the bullet. But it was clearly something that Jo didn't want to talk about, and for that reason, she left her alone.

Once Callie walked away and left her alone at the desk, Jo closed her eyes and took a deep, steadying breath. She willed herself to calm down and when her eyes snapped back open, she continued to type, scheduling surgeries She didn't understand what the big deal was. So she offered to stay at the hospital on Christmas. What was the big deal? It wasn't like she had family to spend it with. She wasn't like anyone else in the hospital.

She wasn't like Dr. Grey, who had three children to be with, she wasn't like Dr. Bailey with a son and a husband. Dr. Torres had Sofia, Dr. Kepner had Dr. Avery. Why shouldn't she spend the day at the hospital, holiday or not? She had nothing and nobody. She had herself and Stephanie's cramped apartment to go back to.

Once she pressed the "enter" key on the keyboard and submitted her final surgery schedule, Jo sighed and wheeled her chair back. She folded her legs neatly and grabbed the bag of potato chips she bought and called dinner. It seemed like it was going to be a slow night, but she didn't mind. If she had to do nothing but sit and wait for something to happen while munching on potato chips, she would. To her, anything beat the alternative of sitting in Steph's apartment in her makeshift bed on the couch.

Just as she reached forward to grab the bottle of water that would wash her potato chips down, the pager around her neck began to buzz and ring. Overzealous, she uncrossed her legs and wrapped it, inherently getting chip grease from her fingertips all over it. 9-1-1 to the ER. She sprang up out of her chair and made her way to the staircase. She was sure it'd end up being nothing surgical. It'd probably be someone needing stitches or intravenous fluids.

But she was still grateful for the action.

* * *

Alex wrapped his hand around the cold metal of the railing and held onto it as he lightly jogged down the steps. He didn't know what could possibly be the reason for him being paged on Christmas. The thought of a child being hurt on Christmas made his heart sink.

Truthfully, there were about a million things he could be doing, rather than spending Christmas on the Peds floor with a bunch of kids, most of which who were too sickly to believe in Santa Claus's magic. He could be home on the couch, moping. He could be taking a shower, moping. He could be ready to crawl into bed for the night, moping. There were about a million things he would rather be doing. He'd rather be at home on the couch watching cheesy Christmas movies with her, just like they did last year. He'd rather be exchanging gifts and laughing over how they had no idea what to get each other. Instead, he was running down to answer a page and moping. There were about a million things Alex would rather be doing….and almost all of them somehow involved her. Christmas just wasn't the same without her.

As he reached the landing of the steps, he shook his head to physically clear his thoughts and exhaled hard. He vowed to himself that he wouldn't think about Jo. At least not tonight he wouldn't. He spent every day and night of the last two months of their breakup thinking about her. Christmas was going to be different. In fact, he had volunteered to stay at the hospital just so he wouldn't spend the night sulking and thinking of Jo. He missed her, he wouldn't deny it.

With his shoulders slouched and his hands in the pockets of his white coat, he rounded the corner and headed for the trauma room that he was paged to. He yanked open the door and took in the scene: a child under the age of five sitting on the table, an intern pressing a stethoscope to her chest and Jo in the corner scribbling across a paper chart. His eyes immediately went to her, which made him feel guilty. He was called in to consult on the sick child whose parents thought to drag her in on Christmas night, yet he was stuck looking at Jo. His eyes were locked. The way her hand glided across the papers she was signing, the way her hair swooped and drooped over her shoulder and the way her eyelashes fluttered every time she blinked…everything she did, to him, was mesmerizing.

When she saw the door standing open from the corner of her eye, Jo looked up from the chart and immediately paused. Her entire body had been put on halt as soon as her eyes met his and it took her a moment to realize that she wasn't breathing. She blinked twice and looked back down at the chart, desperate to break the eye contact. She cleared her throat.

"I paged Dr. Robbins," she spoke in her most professional tone. "Is she not available?"

"You paged Peds and got me," Alex mumbled, finally putting his attention on the patient. "What do we have here?" He walked over and held his hand out for the chart.

"If you don't mind, I'd like to wait for Dr. Robbins."

"Well you'll be waiting 'til tomorrow then," he quipped. "Robbins went home for the night. You need a Peds consult, you've got me. What is she presenting with?"

Jo paused for a moment, thinking of a way to come back without igniting a flame in front of their very young patient. She bit the inside of her cheek and sighed, deciding that arguing with him wasn't worth it.

"You can read," she muttered, closing the chart.

She shoved the chart at him and breezed past him so quickly that her hair flowed back, and Alex just glared at her. He knew the breakup was nasty. He knew that sometimes Jo's hostility was just a mere mask to hide her pain. But she truly did seem angry with him and that alone made him wonder if he ever had a chance of getting her back. It had been two months…how long did she need to stop resenting him?

"Lily," Jo smiled at the little girl as she pulled her gloves on. The way Jo's voice had switched from devious to downright sweet within a matter of moments fascinated him. The way she handled the little girl with delicate care was such a paradox and he found himself more in love with her than he had ever been in that moment. "I'm just gonna lift your shirt and listen to your heart, okay?"

"Okay, Dr. Wilson."

The little girl nodded her head and looked at Jo with scared eyes. Her parents were out in the hallway filling out paperwork and it was apparent that she was apprehensive without them. She shied away from Jo just a little and whimpered when the cold stethoscope touched her chest. Noticing the girl's fear, Jo thought quickly of ways to calm her.

"I like your shirt," she smiled at her again. "Isn't that….Princess Elsa?"

"Queen Elsa," Lily corrected, her face lighting up at a topic she could get into.

"Oh," Jo placed her hand over her own chest and let her cheeks flush bright red. "I'm sorry, that's right. Elsa's a queen." She giggled at her own ineptitude and turned towards the intern that was standing to her left. "It's not surgical. Let Karev treat her and just… Page me with whatever."

Intern DeLuca nodded his head at her orders and swiftly obeyed. It was clear to him that Dr. Wilson was uncomfortable with something and just wanted to get out of the room. He thought about asking if she was alright but decided against it, realizing that she was handing the reigns over to him. She was trusting him with a patient.

Alex stood in the corner of the trauma room and watched as Jo exited. He couldn't help but think that it was all because of him. She was suddenly uncomfortable. So uncomfortable that she didn't want to treat a patient in his presence. He sighed. He must've really screwed up. The door to the trauma room slammed shut behind her and that was when he couldn't take it any longer. He couldn't just let her walk away from him. Not when they were both meant to treat that patient. He knew that she was mad and he understood that much, but enough was enough. She needed to keep their relationship out of the work.

"Don't screw anything up until I get back," he mumbled to DeLuca and put Lily's chart down on the bed next to her.

He dashed out of the trauma room and looked around, only to find Jo walking briskly towards the staircases. She was walking in a manner that mirrored her true feelings - she was walking angrily. He secured his pager around his neck and walked faster to catch up with her.

"Jo!" he called.

She whipped around as soon as she heard her name and the general look of anticipation on her face was wiped clean and replaced with irritation. She rolled her eyes, shook her head and turned back around, this time changing her direction completely. She didn't want him to follow her. She wanted him to leave her alone and more than anything, she wanted to be out of his sight. She made a complete U-Turn and headed for the main entrance. Alex sucked his teeth.

"Jo, wait up!"

Ignoring him, she stomped right out the automatic doors and anticipated that he wouldn't follow her. Alex thought about it. He thought about just leaving her alone because clearly, he wanted that. But leaving her alone wouldn't solve anything…it never did. And he realized, as soon as he walked into the trauma room and saw her, that something had to be solved. He couldn't take it anymore and he refused to let it interfere with patient care. She had to stop hating him sometime. She had to forgive him eventually.

So instead of leaving her alone like she so desperately wanted him to, Alex walked through the automatic doors as well and followed her right outside. The cold, wintry air bit at his arms through his white coat and caused him to shiver, but he still followed her. She continued to walk, up the sidewalk this time and he kept following until finally, he decided that it wasn't worth it. He sighed, but put his hands on his hips and watched her. He didn't know how far she planned on walking, but he figured he should stop. He'd catch her in an elevator eventually.

"Just give it up, Jo! I'm not going to leave you alone!" He called to her, frustrated, cold and ignoring the multiple stares he was getting from passersby. "You have to talk to me sometime!"

With that, Jo stopped walking. She bawled her hands up into fists and exhaled so hard that her breath was visible. She bit her lip and turned around slowly. She wanted to cry…more than anything, she wanted to cry. She couldn't take being around him anymore. She needed a break. Why wouldn't he give her that?

"….Just go away, Alex," she mumbled but loud enough so that he could hear even from the ten or so paces he stood away from her. "I don't want to talk to you. I don't even want to be around you."

"No," Alex shook his head and shifted his weight, keeping his hands on his hips. "I'm not going to leave you alone. Eventually… You have to deal with me. I'm not going to leave you alone."

Jo clenched her jaw and closed her eyes as a tear trickled out of her eye. Her cheeks were so cold that the tear that rolled down it burned a trail. She sniveled and shook her head, beginning to turn around. Once he saw her move to turn around, Alex jogged to her and put his hand on her arm.

"Stop, Jo! Stop running away… Just talk to me."

"There's nothing to talk about!"

"We have every–"

"No, Alex, we don't! We don't have everything to talk about! We have nothing to talk about because talking to you never gets anywhere! Talking to you is like talking to a wall! Everything I say, you just don't–"

"You never give me a chance! You never do! You go straight to the chase! You break up with me! You jump to–"

"Because what else can I do?! What else can I do, Alex?! You think everything has these tiny easy fixes but they don't! You can't just make me… You can't just…"

"Let's not pretend that this breakup isn't your fault this time," he muttered.

"It isn't! You're still angry with me for saying no and you don't understand WHY I said no. You think I'm just trying to be a bitch, but Alex… I can't marry you if I don't feel like…," she wiped tears. "If I don't feel like I come first to you. You say you'll change but you still haven't…"

"I can work on it though, Jo… I can work on it. You think I wanna hear you say no to me all the time? I love you…I wanna marry you, I wanna be with you… I don't wanna hear you say no to me all the time. You constantly say no, what makes you think I wanna even ask anymore? You rejected me twice. You expect me to throw a Hail Mary and think the fourth time's the charm? You said no once, I understood.. I was messed up about my dad, yeah. I asked you again and you said no again. I asked you one more time and now that? What more do you want from me? Do you still love me?"

Jo bit her lip and looked down at the wet cement sidewalk. Her shoulders slumped. She loved him with all her heart. She loved him more than she ever loved anyone. She missed him like crazy. Admittedly, she never thought about how he felt. It just never occurred to her that her saying "no" to three of his proposals had an effect on him. Now that he mentioned it, she guessed it made sense. But he never expressed it before. She was sorry for hurting his feelings. That was never her intention. She just didn't take engagement lightly. She wanted him to be serious and all about her if he was going to propose.

"Do you?" he asked again. "Still love me, Jo?"

"….Of course," she whispered. "But I don't… Know how much more of this I can take. It's suffocating me."

"So what are you saying? What are you saying? Are you saying there's no way we can fix this? Because it's been two months and I'm tired of this. …I miss you."

"I miss you too," she admitted. "But Alex, I can't. I can't do this, I just…," she shook her head. "I need to know you're in it. I can't keep feeling like you're not in this with me. I need to know that you're listening. I need to know that you don't really think that slapping a ring on my finger is going to nullify everything I feel."

Alex tilted his head and raised his eyebrows. "….I don't think that nullifies your feelings. Jo, I want the ring on your finger because I love you and I want to be with you. I'm not trying to nullify anything. I'm trying to show you that there's nothing else in this world I want more than you. You get squirrelly. You think I'm not gonna be there but I always will be. I'm not going anywhere. You keep trying to push me away. You need someone to tell you that they're going to be there and I'm trying to tell you that but you won't let me. Let me."

"…How?" she looked up at him, tears ravaging her face. "How whenever I constantly feel like–"

"Come home," he interrupted her, offering a quick solution. "Get your crap out of Edwards' apartment and come home where you belong…that's a start."

Jo gazed at him, still very visibly cautious. She didn't want to give in this quickly. She didn't want him to think that every sappy speech would make her go weak in the knees. She knew what Alex sounded like when he was full of crap. She wanted to trust him… She studied his face for the signs of him lying. She couldn't find any though. She wanted to believe him so bad… Should she? She didn't know. She swallowed a lump in her throat and pursed her lips together. Slowly, her head started to nod.

"…Alright," she reluctantly agreed. "I'll come home."

Alex cracked a smile and looked her up and down. He motioned towards the hospital with his head and got a smile out of Jo as well. She didn't want to smile…but God, did she miss him. She missed him so much and she couldn't deny that. Just the prospect of going home with him was enough to make her smile. Once their shifts were over, she'd be going back home with him. It wasn't perfect, but it was a start. It'd take a lot of work, but she was willing to try.

She walked over to where he stood and let him drape his arm leisurely around her shoulder so the two of them could walk back into the hospital. As if the universe wanted to solidify and make the moment more perfect, gentle snowflakes began to fall down from the black night sky. Jo looked up at the snow and grinned…nothing could make it more perfect.

Alex clenched his arm and held her a little tighter as the snowflakes fell and dampened both their clothes. He didn't mind the moisture, though. He had Jo back and that was all he really wanted.

Christmas was going to be the same with her after all.


End file.
